Snoop Dogg...Fo Shizzle.

Concerning Snoop Dogg converting to Mormonism:

Gwen: "Can't wait to do some baptisms for the dizzle!"
Mom: No! It's "baptizles for the dizzle!"

Why is it always Truman?

Play THAT through 20ft speakers! It'd blow your clothes off. Then you'd be NAKED. (Disdainfully) Go put your clothes on.

7:00 am

Gwen: It's far to early to be alive.
Tru: Agreed. The cyanide is under the sink.

Overheard on Easter

Tru: You get some arms! Happy Easter

Overheard on Easter

Tru: You get some arms! Happy Easter

10b

Truman and I shouldn't be allowed in the same room. It gets too weird.

Gwen: Ha! Did you hear me?
Tru: Yeah "Glycerin! Glycerin! Glycerin! BIFF"

Overheard at Dinner, Again.

Gwen: You cannot withstand the power of COSMIC BAMBI!
Dad: I can with the help of Godzilla.
Gwen: Yeah, but that's not Cosmic Bambi. Cosmic Bambi is all shiny and stuff.
Dad: I guess I'll bring Mechagodzilla.
Tru: You're bringing the Islamic Godzilla?



Mom: I'm gonna bite your slipper in the shoe department.

Dang, Tonight is Funny

Gwen: Aren't switchblades illegal?
Ethan: Not in Utah.
Gwen: Dad, aren't switchblades illegal?
Dad: Not in Utah.
Gwen: Dang it all!

??

Tru: There's only one solution to this problem.
(Almost in Unison)
Gwen: Move to Mexico.
Tru: Poptarts.

Moses!

Tru: Son of Moses!
Gwen: Hm?
Tru: You're not the Son of Moses!!

Uh, Google it?

Googatize it!

C4!

This is what homework does to Truman and I. It doesn't even make sense. Does it?

Why don't I just go back to beating her with a shovel?
Because Intercision is funny. Wait, no it's not, blowing up is funny!
Well why don't I blow her up the old fashioned way, with C4?
C4's not old fashioned.
It's older than Intercision.
No it's not! Who's older, Phillip Pullman or C4?

Overheard at Ruby River

It's Dad's birthday, so Tru, Mom, Dad and I went to dinner at Ruby River. Silliness ensued.

Mom: That's an evil looking piece of bread...

Tru: (Holding a fork in each hand) Double the intake! Half the manners!

Dad: You're gonna be up all night.
Tru: No, I will combat it with, hm, what's it called? Lortab? Ambien?
Dad: Silmarillion.

Waitress: (After dropping an empty bowl) Hey, not bad for my first night!
Gwen: (After she has walked away) This is her first night? Hey! Welcome to Ruby River! You get to serve the insane family!

ADD Today

I said this earlier tonight, and then realized the strangeness of the sentence:

I'm supposed to be writing a book review, but my brain is melting out my ear so now I'm doing somersaults at the cat.

Tuesday Night 8:46

No, that's mine! Don't! I'll beat you with a spatula made of blood!

Mom Overheard Concerning Shirts

There was an article saying that OH OH OH! LOOK AT MY NEW SHIRT!

Pregnant Overheard

Jen Dunn is pregnant!
Tim Gunn is pregnant?!

Overheard at the Quarry

The Great Glitter God in the sky had a hemorrhage.

Dad Overheard

I could tell you stories about girls that would make your toes curdle!

Prepositional Nonsense, Desert Mirages, and Freddy Von Wilkenstanionterlypotmery

While I was arguing with some friends about ending sentences in prepositions, I remember that Dad once had something to say about it, so I went to go find where I wrote it down. Here tis:

Gwen: I ended a sentence in a preposition. I am ashamed.
Dad:That is the sort of nonsense up with which we will not put!

But in the process discovered that I have a lot of family quotes in a document entitled "Freddy Von Wilkenstanionterlypotmery," so here are a few of those:

Gwen: Brad Pitt is on Friends!
Mom: Fried Chicken?

I’ll bite your desert mirage!

I am a Thundermuffin. Fear me.

Your validment is not arged!

I bet he’s huge! Let’s go look at him.

Sushi is not eternal.

Jump on a rock! Jump on a rock! Jump on a rock! Oh, look! Some weed!

Put your man-tunic on and deal with it!

Nerds Overheard

So this wasn't a Blanchard, but it WAS at the Blanchard Residence:

He destroyed his Vulcan calm.
I don't understand nerd references.
It's a Gwen and Amber reference.
...so a nerd reference then?

Mom Overheard

I have to go play Kingdom Hearts.
What? You have to go wash your armpits?

Overheard at the Doctor

Doctor: So there's this thing in your shoulder called a labrum...
Truman and Gwen: Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.

Five K fun run? Five Kilometers of fun! Sunshine and butterflies and blood! Lots of blood!

Overheard in the Nursery

Atmospheric conditions must be conducive to bubble longevity.

Truman Overheard

What do you take me for?
A woman beater.
Sad! I'll beat you for that!!

Starcraft 2

He looks like a bug that smacked into a Death Eater who then smacked into Darth Vader.

Er...

(About a screwdriver): "What is this doing on the floor?"
"I was screwing the back onto Captain Kirk"
"Well are you done screwing Captain Kirk?"

Sexy, Sexy!!!

I'll show you a sexy naan explosion...

Perin: What we need to see is a mud wrestling match between Caprica Six and Our Mrs. Reynolds.
Ashley: Who would win?
Perin: Me.

Oh, I though you said pimp...I hate going grocery shopping with my pimp!

Concerning Electric Fences

This isn't new but I had forgotten it:

"Yes, but do you know what they sound like?" "Yes, they sound like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

What I Have So Far

So here are the few I have so far:

(Waving around a fist full of 100's) Sell me enough shiny stuff to use this up!!

"Where's Dad's bash guard and can I use it?"

"I can't read German!...You have a woolly mach-en?...TWO woolly mach-ens?"

"You should fix that, you don't have a lawn mower...they're going to eat your braaaains!!"

Hello Everybody

So I've been wanting to jump on the blogging bandwagon for a while, but I haven't the time or the energy to do anything really sweet with my own life. So I'm doing one for my family, sort of not really.

I come home a few times a week just to visit and hang out with my family. Every once in a while I overhear one line of conversation that is either really funny out of whatever context it's supposed to be in or that I just plain mishear. I have posted a few of these on my Facebook account, but I think that this is a better option. Why not take advantage of the new literacy that has begun to take shape in the Age of the Interwebz?

I imagine that this blog will be more like a twitter account than an actual blog. This will probably be the longest post you get.

Will anyone read it? Doubt it. But it will be a fun dip in the blogging pool none-the-less.